Caution: Contains Water!

A dripping tap occurs when you don’t turn the tap off properly. It drips in its own time and own pace, and gradually drains away the water that is left inside. Sometimes it drips several times a minute. The dripping tap only ever stops when someone intervenes or when it has drained away too much, and has no more drip left to give. Every tap has its own individual way of dripping, some drip fast and some drip slow, but it’s only ever a matter of time before the final drip falls, and with every single fall, it comes closer to the inevitable last drip. 

As I sit here waiting for that last drip to fall, and waiting for the end of the day to arrive, I try and imagine myself in a different location where I can comfortably endure the activities that are taking place. I try not to look at the clock to much and before I know it I am suddenly at the half way point. I take a deep breath, I leave my seat and I walk.  

I walk along taking in my surroundings and trying to notice things that I haven’t before.  Brown leaves surround me everywhere. I look on the pavement in front of me and I see millions of brown leaves. I look behind me, the brown leaves have now parted slightly by the mark of my almost forgotten foot print, but they are still very much there. I look up suddenly as one brushes passed me without any consideration for my sight and the pathway that lies ahead. I look back as it slowly and delicately falls to the ground. I stop for a moment in my tracks, and stare at the brown leaf that now lay’s in front of me. I bend down and pick it up carefully laying it to rest in the palm of my hand.

Seeing this leaf up close for the first time, I notice something. I notice that it’s not completely brown. The bit right in the very middle is completely green, lush green even. I look at this leaf still standing in the middle of this suburban street, wondering why I am still standing here in the middle of this suburban street looking at this leaf. When it suddenly all becomes apparent. I realise in this moment that this leaf is in fact a living entity, and so in turn it exists much like I do. It is alive, much like I am. With this new understanding I saw something in this leaf that I hadn’t seen before. Hope.

Although the tips of this leaf were most certainly dead, the core was still very much alive. I thought about this for a moment and remembered seeing a leaf much like this one last year. This leaf knew that in order to make its green centre spread it would need to add time, effort and of course water to fulfil its aim. This leaf had hope, and without this hope it could not have successfully bloomed in the way that it did. Because I had seen this other leaf change in such a way, I knew that there was a chance for the one still resting in the palm of my hand. There was still hope, and surely this could happen again.

So I decided to add action to this hope. I sped up my pace, changed direction and soon arrived at a local water fountain. Here I turned the tap on, and watched as the contents fell gracefully over the leaf. I sat there and I just watched. As it continued its course and the last drop eventually fell, I imagined the green core slowly but surely beginning to spread and fully cover the entirety of the surface area. Only when this was complete, would I turn the tap off and return from my walk.

Up until now, I am still waiting. And the tap, is still very much running.

Your Head Not Mine…THE SCRIPT!

A tall thin table centre stage houses a telephone. A chair sits next to this. On the floor next to the chair is a briefcase. The phone rings. Nothing happens for a long while. It stops. A young man dressed in an old dirty looking suit, enters. He sits down on the chair and waits. He nervously looks at his watch. The phone rings again. He looks at the phone, and then looks at his surroundings before cautiously going to pick it up.

Man: Hello?

No answer. He puts the phone down and returns to his chair. After a while it rings again. He returns to the phone and picks it up.

Man: Helloo?

Again no answer. He sits back down. Once again the phone rings, he annoyingly rushes to pick it up.

Man: HELLO? Oh hello, yes...yes, okay I understand. What, now? But I don’t know....oh, ok then, now.

He puts down the phone, returns to the chair, sits down and opens the brief case. He pulls out a tennis ball, before placing the briefcase down. Looking carefully at the tennis ball, he squeezes it. Realising there is a rip in the ball, he now opens the tennis ball and pulls out a gobstopper. He places the ball on top of the briefcase and starts to suck the gobstopper. The phone rings again. With the gobstopper in his mouth, he goes to pick it up.

Man: ello? Yep...it’s in my…but you said...WHAT?

The man spits the gobstopper out of his mouth, and returns to the tennis ball and pulls out a note. He reads the note.

Man:'This gobstopper is filled with juicy goodness for all your 'tripping' needs [PAUSE] Do not suck…if allergic to acid'

The man throws the note on the floor. He stands up and slowly starts to spin around. He then walks over to the phone and starts to stroke it.

Man: Oooh Bobby

The Man then jumps back.

Man: Bobby? Come 'ere boy, come on, come on Bobby. Who’s a good boy?

He then grabs the cord of the phone as if it’s a dog’s lead, and starts frantically running around centre stage.

Man: Come on Bobby, who’s a good boy, who’s a good boy...now fetch.

He throws the tennis ball, and waits for 'Bobby' to get it.

Man: Ok just this once

The man now runs after the ball, places it in his mouth like a dog, and then runs around looking at the phone and barking frantically. He becomes increasingly annoyed when 'Bobby' doesn’t move. He barks.

Man: Woof woof woof Bobbyyy woof woof Bobbyyy stop it bobby. Stop it!

The man gets to a peak of exhaustion and slowly starts to shut down, eventually collapsing on the floor. The phone rings. A teenaged girl dressed in a purple shell suit now enters. She picks up the phone from the floor and answers it.

Woman: Yo, hit me up! Wot? Nah blud, just got here.

She then notices the man lying on the floor with the tennis ball in his mouth.

Woman: Ah shit blud, this is like totally, off the waaaaaaall!! No blud, his sucked the whole bloody thing. [PAUSE] Excuse me? Ay listen, it’s your ‘ead, not mine.

End

Communication... It’s a one way thing?!

Out of the many noises I heard on the train this morning, the roaring sound of the engine firing up and blasting thousands of vaults of electricity through the rail line at every single stop, was definatly one of them. I also endured the odd cough and distinguished sound of many people quickly turning the pages of their newspapers in an almost rhythmic fashion, that seemed to get louder and louder which made me wonder if they were actually even reading their papers in the first place. As my eyes struggled to remain open, I took a moment to look around at all the other people on the train. I noticed that every single one of them were partaking in the exact same activity. They were all looking down, but not at nothing. No one was playing the ‘who would I be friends with if I could only see their shoes’ game, but instead everyone was looking down at their telephonic communication devises. Their phones, and if they weren’t looking down at their phones then they were clutching them tightly in their hands just in case someone at 6.45 in the morning decided to contact them. The people not looking down at their phones were doing 1 of either 2 things:

Number 1: They had instead opted to stare down at their tablet (another incredible invention of the 21^st century). 

Or Number 2: They had grabbed one of the lovely free newspapers to read - the newspapers that so often litter the entire train without a thought or consideration to any of the humans that had placed them there in the first place (why we bother - its beyond me)

Everyone was doing something. No one was doing nothing. No one was looking at anyone else, and the people who thought they were someone else weren’t looking at anyone else either. As I sat there thinking about how this could be a fantastic opportunity to meet new people and share one another’s stories (and of course contacts for the future) I starting to think to myself about how we got here? How did we get to this place where communication really is, just a one way thing. Even eye contact is a danger on the train. Is this how people use to behave? Is this how people have always behaved? Probably. Or perhaps maybe this is a ‘Con’ on the ‘Pro’s & Con’s list’ (that I have just mentally created) of the modern world.  And just when I’m about to give up all hope of the past and of ever communicating with anyone else ever again, something incredible happens.

All of a sudden as I sit there looking all around me for perhaps an answer to this delirious situation, I see someone. Someone in the next carriage, doing nothing! Well not nothing, but certainly something thats worth something. This person is not looking at their phone, nor their tablet or newspaper, but instead they are looking all around at the other people on the train, moving their eyes from seat to seat until they eventually meet their eyes with mine. They are looking at me. He is looking at me. I am sitting here, and he is sitting over there and he is looking at ME! Is he thinking what I am thinking? Doing what I am doing? He is certainly and very actively recreating what people in the past had no choice but to do. He is living his life through the use of a little well known communication devise I like to call ‘our senses’. Fantastic, finally I feel satisfied in knowing that someone else is taking a moment, to just do nothing, or at least to do something while they are doing nothing, something that involves positively doing nothing. 

…And then I see it, something terrible has appeared in my eye site. He is clutching his laptop so closely to his chest that it is almost unrecognisable as a laptop. He is still attached to the notion that at any one moment he can simply open it up, and become one of them. Join the rest of them. Maybe he feels liberated or even empowered by his decision to have his choices laid out in front of himself. Maybe this makes him empowered.

I saw this and stopped for a moment. I stopped, and then I got my writing book out. I put my writing book away and then I stopped again. I looked again, and then I stopped looking, gave up, looked down, and pulled out my tablet to start using the one way communication devise that we all know so well as…CANDY CRUSH! FAIL!

Maybe the truth is that sometimes we all need a little bit of one way communication, and maybe that’s not communicating at all, but maybe we don't really care enough to care anymore. Who knows...you decide!

Next time on Your Head Not Mine…  ‘insert here’ ….Tune in soon to find out whatever that is! BOOM!

The 3 point plan ...sponsered by 'Just Sal'!

I don’t feel very inspired today so I’m not really sure why I’m trying to be. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been taught that a little inspiration goes a long way, and maybe it’s because I’m aware that without inspiration there wouldn’t really be much point in anything at all. I mean, where would all those big ideas come from without a little inspiration? How would people even think of ideas if no one was ever inspired? Would ideas exist? All I really know is that all it really takes is just one big idea. That’s all you need - one big idea and then you’ve basically 'made it'. Next comes the part where you put this one big idea into action and actually create the vision you have seen, but surely that’s the easy part. So that’s all there is to it, the 3 point plan…. Inspiration – Idea - Action. Simple ay? Let’s start at the very beginning….

Inspiration

Take a moment and look all around yourself. The objects you see, the people you meet, the food you taste and the sounds you make. Its everywhere, there is inspiration everywhere and in absolutely everything. That empty cup of coffee that you’ve been staring at for the last 30 minutes. That’s inspiration, it just needs the idea of walking to the kitchen, filling up the kettle, clicking that little button and pouring the heated water into your cup to make it happen. And then of course all it takes is the action of actually doing this to succeed in the 3 point plan.

 

Idea

The idea of an idea is that you’ll create what it is that you’ve already thought of. The idea of an idea is not to have an idea and do nothing with it. Now obviously there can be certain constraints here, and at the best of times the best of ideas might not always work out, but how do you know if you never actually try them. If you have an idea and let it rest without taking that crucial action, then there is no point in even having the inspiration in the first place, and thus no point in going through the whole process at all. This is the part most people struggle with, the action.

Action

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there is no point in being inspired and having a fantastic idea only to do absolutely nothing with it. This can be a sad time for the 3 point plan. More often than not people will reach this point and then just stop. They’ll stop and make a conscience decision right in front of the finish line to turn around, and not to jump over that final hurdle. By missing this part they have missed the point that they are actually already 66.6% of the way there. They’ve received inspiration, they’ve had the idea, and now they’re just going to bail at the last possible moment? NOPE! Don’t do it, what’s the point? Receiving the inspiration and recognising the idea is the hard part. Making this idea a reality has to be the easy part, if it wasn’t (or you at least didn’t believe it was) then nothing would ever become of anything. Now I’m obviously not going to sit here and say that the 'Action' part is the easiest thing you’ll ever do. However, it is probably one of the bravest things you’ll do, and by far the most satisfying. 

So why not start straight away? Grab that idea in the palm of your hand and turn that vision into a reality you only ever imagined at the very beginning ...get up, switch that kettle on, and go and fill that coffee cup up NOW! Make it happen people...I'm parched.

Answers on a postcard (refer to 'Conversations overheard on the train'): The reason for the lack of comedy, spoons, tupperware and comedy spoons in tupperware is that it’s ridiculous …and I didn’t have any spoons or tupperware that even resembled any form of comedy. It’s disappointing I know, but perhaps realistic? If any of you can prove me wrong and send me your comedy spoons in Tupperware then you’ll get a free high 5. But I warn you now, I’ll be the judge on the comedy factor …just call me Simon.

Next time on Your Head Not Mine… Was I inspired after this post? Did I have an Idea? AND, did I make it happen? Tune in soon to find out….BOOM!

Conversations overheard on the train: IS THIS YOU?!

I sit here on the train listening to my music when suddenly something terrible happens. The music stops, my phone switches off, my battery has died and all that I have known for the last 12 minutes unexpectedly and very abruptly ends. All I am left with now is silence, complete and utter uninterrupted silence for the remainder of my journey. But hold on…what was that I just heard? Someone is speaking and another person is responding. A conversation taking place between two other passengers has begun, and I am their audience.

As I sit here in this tiny chair on this busy underground carriage, my imagination and vision shifts slightly and the scenery around me begins to mould and transform into something quite different. As the space opens up, the bright yellow handle bars disappear and I am now sitting in an enormous raked stage theatre, complete with proscenium arch. The other passengers all take on their particular roles as either audience members, or the Actors on stage performing this scene in front of me. As the lights are dimmed but continue to flicker (reminding me of where I actually am) I am only interrupted by the usher walking past with his box of treats (or by the man with his briefcase full of work). I am then given a sneak peek in to these characters lives as the conversations I hear and the actions I see, become more and more entertaining as each scene unfolds and takes on its own genre. I sit and I watch. I listen and I react. The curtain rises and through the door walks two men around the age of 30… 

Man 1: Operation burglar! If you were a burglar, which house would you rob?
Man 2: The one without any lights on?
Man 1: Nope, because they’d probably just be asleep

Man 2: Unless they were at work?
Man 1: Yeah, but it wouldn’t be an absolute certainty if you robbed a house that didn’t have the lights on.
Man 2: So you would rob the house that did have the lights on?

Someone’s phone begins to ring before Man 1 can answer interrupting their conversation. A younger lady in her twenties hesitantly answers…

Women on phone: I guess you’re calling me for a reason? (pause) Spit it out then. (pause) I can't really hear you. (pause) No, he said I’ll make your life a living hell, and then Danny was like…hello? Hellooo? (Sigh)

The woman hangs up as the two men leave through the door. An older couple at the far end now enter as two younger people offer them their seat…they accept. 

Old Woman: So anyway the 80% pass rate is actually rather high. I’ve never got 80% on an exam before, but then I’ve never really done an exam before.

Old Man: Me neither. Did you think the food was better last night?
Old Woman: Yeah there was a real Spanish theme to it, meat, cheese, olives
Old Man: No burgers though
Old Woman: Well no, but burgers aren’t Spanish are they?

The older woman stops talking as the lady next to me starts having a coughing fit. As this happens a tall bearded Australian man in the corner quietly mentions to his younger accomplice… 

Bearded Man: An optional extra on a rent a car…a gun! So, if you get pulled over in the bush you can just shoot them. Can you imagine if you went through customs and they stamped your passport and gave you a gun?! That would be handy.

A couple of the ‘audience members’ become slightly irritated as two boys around the age of 12 now run in through the doors. Whilst playing on their phones, one of them loudly and without pause delivers this closing monologue…

Boy: ‘I don’t like going on fast trains at all. They’re not like planes. With planes you know it’s going to stop at the end, but with trains they’re going so fast that it’s very possible that you’ll miss your stop. Like the Heathrow Express. I'll never go on the Heathrow Express - there would be no point. It’s so fast that I would just miss my stop and have to do it all over again. It’s safer on planes but more expensive. I guess in Japan it’s different - you don't get electrocuted if you trend on the track. What's that noise? Bang bang BANG! …Oh, it’s the people on the bridge walking over. Can I have one of them? Not the purple one though, I don't eat things that are purple. Oh look, (looks at phone) ‘1000 pies’ is following me - who the hell is that? …Did they eat them all? I should probably set up my privacy settings’. 

And then I leave. There is no applause, no standing ovation, and everything returns to normal as I remember that I am actually exiting from a 40 minute train journey. I walk home wondering who these people were…someone’s brother, someone’s aunt, someone’s friend, or a friend of a friend of a friend. Or perhaps just maybe, this was YOU? One thing is for sure, I have witnessed them and they have witnessed me, and in one way or another we have been part of each other’s lives even for the shortest amount of time, and now, all of you have been part of this too. So next time you’re on the train, have a listen and enjoy some completely free theatre, and just for that moment delve into someone else's world, as they delve in to yours.

Next time on Your Head Not Mine: A reason for the lack of Comedy, Spoons, Tupperware and Comedy Spoons in Tupperware. Tune in soon to find out more…BOOM!