The doors slam but they do not close. A foot rests in the bottom of the gap squeezed between the two obstacles. As two hands suddenly appear and grasp onto either side of each opened door slowly pulling them apart, a face similar to the hulk’s is seen. A less than green body pulls itself through the gap as the obstruction is removed, and the doors finally slam shut, and this time close.
The tiny lights in the corners of each door turn off and the engines fire up. We are on our way again. As I look around a few people have taken to tutting at the man for delaying the train by 2.5 seconds. The man that owns the hulk face is blissfully unaware of the tutting around him, although he does look slightly awkward. Luckily his ears carry two tiny speakers presumably to avoid the almost certain confrontation that he may have faced otherwise.
As I sit here watching the different reactions to this seemingly ordinary occurrence, I am reminded of Baz Luhrmann's hit single ‘Everybody’s Free’, mainly because it starts to play out of the left speaker of my broken earphones. I wonder if this song were to play aloud with its suggestions of sunscreen, stretching and throwing away your old bank statements, people would stop for a moment, rise up like some kind of spirit, and suddenly realise how ridiculous they look.
Now I understand that most people have come accustom to this 'tutting', and I too have played my part in being slightly, if not horrendously ridiculous at times, but I can’t help but wonder if this song on the importance of wearing sunscreen were to randomly start playing on the tube out loud, people would actually stop for a moment, and help each other out for a change.
At least half of these...lets call them ‘tutters’...were actually tutting at the people who started tutting in the first place. A few others I’m sure just thought 'tutting' was really ‘in’ at the moment, so carried on regardless.
When I thought about this I realised that I may be drawing too much attention to myself by not tutting. So I then started to tut, which drew even more attention. What had I done? WHY WERE PEOPLE STILL TUTTING?! Even 'the hulk' was tutting by this point. I looked around trying to find a reason for this constant tut, and as I paused my music for a moment, I realised something extremely ridiculous had actually happened.
No one was tutting at all, not one single person. Had I imagined it? Where had the tuts gone? I was sure I wasn't crazy, so I pressed play, and there it was again...the tutting! I pressed pause, the tutting stopped. I pressed play again, the tutting began! After a few attempts it suddenly dawned upon me. It wasn't the people that were tutting but infact Baz, tutting away like a little tutting tutter.
DAMIT I thought...I really need to invest in new earphones!
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